Are you a brick or a gap in the wall of the ummah?

“What is a duvet without a 60kg-ish meat and bone?” LOL. Iron sure knows how to put words into perspective. Lebih2 lagi dalam musim shita’ ni.

Tapi memang betul pun. Duvet lah musuh utama gua untuk keluar bermusafir. If only I could have a vacation (and money) to the southern hemisphere in December. Australia and New Zealand pulak are way behind the globe though. But as spontaneous as I can be, the character eventually pulled myself to Ireland and Poland, leaving only a few days of winter holiday being left unoccupied. Oh well.

I shall save the Poland story for another time. The highlights of my winter whereabouts would be the 'Islamic Relief winter reflection tour' and PUISI. I’ve covered bits and pieces of PUISI experience somewhere in my previous blogpost, so allow me to share my scribbles on the IR talk right now.

Three speakers were present at the British Muslim Heritage Centre, Manchester; namely Sheikh Jamaluddin Hysaw (God I just love his US accent), Sheikh Yusuf Az-Zahaby and Brother Zeyara (the youtuber and the 'inspiration series' main actor). I particularly love the way Sheikh Jamaluddin emulates the idea of tackling hypocrite in his own words.

He said, “start looking at the depths of our own souls, and define who you are."

“Journey of self is not gonna be easy, but it has to be done. We do what we do for validations, not for loving ourselves. How many of us can say to ourself ‘I know me’ ?”

“Stop being ignorance for who we are. When do I become to sing the song of submission?”

I am quoting him word by word, btw. And subhanallah, until that time, never had I thought of my internal conflicts as serious as it should be. It’s of reminding our sole purpose of being a human - of aligning our intentions straight, and thereupon committing proper actions. How I wish I can exercise this more often.

I did not write many points from Sheikh Yusuf though, but the gist of his part was reminding us that afflictions are but a test. Why must there be tests? Because we are in the DUNYA, people.

Then came Brother Zeyara to the stage. And suddenly the sisters were cheering and fan-girling (I do not know if there’s such a word) while I looked to the brothers on my left and right side, each of us raising eyebrows with an unspoken thought of ‘oh god why are you sisters not cheering for the previous sheikhs?’

Aaaanyway, Zeyara’s take-away messages are;

1. The problem of our youth is that we dislike discussing serious topics. It’s okay to laugh and chill, but let us not forget to address the muddle of our ummah.
2. We do not really donate as much because we did not see/understand the reaction of the poor when they received donations. If only we could see those grateful smiles.
3. Our Prophet Muhammad SAW trained sahaba in different ways according to their talent. The talent/skill possessed by the sahaba is like a brick, of which our prophet managed to build a wall from them.

Or as Zeyara reflected, “how many skills that we’ve today? (Perhaps) The better question is, are you a brick or a gap in the wall of the ummah today? Are you helping the ummah, or you’re just an extra muslim?”

No cheering or takbeer was heard from the sisters’ side anymore. Lulz.

As usual, there’s a ever-energetic donation drive and auctions held. And the most awaited opportunity for the sisters; having photos with Zeyara. I succumbed to the pressure and did a few selfies. Duhh. Bersembang kejap lepas tu gua chow sbb kena catch a bus to Glasgow pulak later that night.

As soon as the overnight bus reached Glasgow, I immediately boarded a flight to Dublin. Rushed my way out from the airport so that I can be at the Dublin mosque on time to follow the convoy to Glendalough. Gila hectic nak mampus. But Allah eased my journey hamdallah and then PUISI pulak menantiii!! (read: excited)

Habis PUISI gua terus cabut ke Belfast jumpa Aslam. Mak oiiii lama gila tak jumpa ‘budak gitar’ ni (nama fb lama dia. kahhkah). Pusing Belfast. Pusing Giant’s Causeway. Pusing Dublin balik. Pastu pusing Poland terus lepas ‘after party’. Naik pusing aku jadinya. Adik aku kata - pishang. Lantaklah pisang ke pusing.

ps: So glad sebenarnya I can be a part of the PUISI team tahun lepas. Abang Arif the pengarah iz zo efficient. Qayyum and the module team are so awesome. Team dapur is so fit! Adik2 peserta pulak are so proactive and knowledgable that gua as faci terasa diri begitu kerdil huhu. Ustaz Ridha lah paling mantap kot. Ustaz yg paling awal bangun pagi, participate dlm LDK peserta and hiking, amend mana2 module yg perlu and everything. Siap pesan dan peringat kepada kami the ajks agar baca quran at least semuka sehari dan istighfar banyak2. Alahai. Rindu lah puleks.

Jenuh cari silent killer time ni. Ustaz Ridha rupanya -.-

That’s all lah for now. Gua mohon undur diri dulu.

Sudden realisation

"I wish I can visit and work in Malaysia some time in the future."

Begitulah harapan Samih yang dikhabarkan kepada kami. Samih merupakan seorang pediatrik yang berjaya di Scotland. Kami bertemu dengan doktor berketurunan arab mesir ini di multifaith room lapangan terbang Edinburgh setelah sekembalinya kami dari Ireland. Aku tersenyum sahaja mendengar harapannya itu seraya bertanya, "why?"

"Why, Malaysia is not a very nice place to live?"

"Within Islamic countries, I think Malaysia has progressed very well. You are very modern. And I know Malaysians can speak English fluently," tambahnya lagi.

To which I promptly replied, "but we don't have underground tubes like Kaherah and London had." And I argued, "but medical career in Malaysia is not really enjoyable. I think most of my friends prefered to work here in the UK and Ireland after they graduated."

Mahu sahaja aku tambah isu 'political instability' bagi menguatkan iktikad pesimisme terhadap negara sendiri, tapi aku diamkan setakat itu untuk memberi ruang kepadanya memuji tanah airku. Begitulah rata-rata orang Arab yang aku selalu ketemu dalam permusafiranku - suka benar memuji kemajuan materi dan duniawi Malaysia semata.

Terkadang aku berasa bangga, tapi banyak masanya aku berasa jelak. Mengiakan pujian mereka saja sudah membuatkan aku persis sepotong tunggul yang hipokrit. Barangkali mereka fikir kita akan merasa seronok dipuji-puji? Entah aku tidak pasti.

Selang beberapa hari bertemu Samih, pesimismeku terhadap Malaysia semakin meliar. Apa tidaknya, hari-hari yang dilalui sangat menyesakkan dada. Buka whatsapp, si musibat menjaja fitnah dalaman PAS. Buka Facebook, si ISMA menjual kebodohan rasis. Buka Twitter, masuk pula khabar Anwar dipenjara. Buka portal 'berhaluan kiri', diputarnya kebencian terhadap autoriti agama. Baca Utusan, ada pula muka aku bersalaman dengan presiden perkasa -.-

Itu baru isu lokal. Belum dibuka cerita isu global seperti #charliehebdo dan #pelukkpop. Peluk kpop tu kira globallah sebab melibatkan korea kan?
[Artikel ni agak bagus aku kira untuk isu islamofobia - https://www.middleeastmonitor.com/articles/europe/16354-europes-fear-of-islam-from-paris-to-dresden]

Aku serius bingung.

Bingung memikirkan masa depan politik tanah air. Oh ya, dan juga ekonomi (ie. cukai dan zakat) serta sosial (ie. isu boikot peniaga Cina. wtf). Bingung sebingung-bingungnya (padahal aku bukan wakil rakyat heh)

Sehinggalah...

Dunia seakan-akan terhenti petang semalam. Jasad tiba-tiba menggigil dan merasa lemah. Masa merangkak dengan sangat perlahan, seraya aku scroll timeline untuk mendapatkan kesahihan berita pemergian tok guru. Sudah lama aku membayangkan 'bagaimanalah kalau saat ini tiba', dan ternyata, aku cukup lemah untuk menerima hakikat ini.

Petang itu - berbaris-baris ucapan takziah muncul di media sosial. Beratus-ratus gambar Pulau Melaka dan catatan belasungkawa telah aku hadami. Sehingga bersengkang mata pula aku melihat siaran langsung pengebumian jenazah tok guru di internet.

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"Aku pernah tengok tok guru dari jauh je. Kat pwtc. Event ape ntah tak ingat," cerita Aiman Hatim.

Usai solat jenazah ghaib dan bertadarus surah Kahfi pada malam itu, Aiman bercerita pengalamannya bersemuka dengan insan hebat ini. Alangkah ruginya aku! Seorang rakyat Kelantan yang langsung tak pernah bersua muka semasa hayatnya. Lebih rugi pula apabila tiada satu buku tok guru pun yang pernah aku khatamkan. Tsk.

إن الْعُلُمَاءُ وَرَثَةُ اْلأَنْبِيَاءِ، إِنَّ اْلأَنْبِياَءَ لَمْ يُوَرِّثُوْا دِيْناَرًا وَلاَ دِرْهَماً إِنَّمَا وَرَّثُوْا الْعِلْمَ فَمَنْ أَخَذَ بِهِ فَقَدْ أَخَذَ بِحَظٍّ وَافِرٍ

“Sesungguhnya ulama adalah pewaris para nabi. Sungguh para nabi tidak mewariskan dinar dan dirham. Sungguh mereka hanya mewariskan ilmu maka barangsiapa mengambil warisan tersebut ia telah mengambil bagian yang banyak.” (Tirmidzi, Ahmad, Ad-Darimi, Abu Dawud. Dishahihkan oleh Al-Albani)

إِنَّ اللهَ لاَ يَقْبِضُ الْعِلْمَ انْتِزَاعاً يَنْتَزِعُهُ مِنَ الْعِباَدِ، وَلَكِنْ بِقَبْضِ الْعُلَماَءِ. حَتَّى إِذَا لَمْ يُبْقِ عاَلِماً اتَّخَذَ النَّاسُ رُؤُوْساً جُهَّالاً فَسُأِلُوا فَأَفْتَوْا بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ فَضَلُّوا وَأَضَلُّوا

“Sesungguhnya Allah tidak mencabut ilmu dengan mencabutnya dari hamba-hamba. Akan tetapi Dia mencabutnya dengan diwafatkannya para ulama sehingga jika Allah tidak menyisakan seorang alim pun, maka orang-orang mengangkat pemimpin dari kalangan orang-orang bodoh. Kemudian mereka ditanya, mereka pun berfatwa tanpa dasar ilmu. Mereka sesat dan menyesatkan.”(HR. Al-Bukhari no. 100 dan Muslim no. 2673)

Dalam mengulas hadis ini, Hafidzi kata, "ulama' telah mati di sisi kita kalau kita tak ambil ilmu yang ada pada diri mereka." Adoi, sentap level infiniti beb.

Dalam masa kita tak sure atas sebab apa kita menangisi pemergian tok guru - sama ada kerana sayangkan sosok tubuhnya semata atau atas dasar iman - ulama' juga telah kita bunuh kerana kita tidak mengalirkan ilmu-ilmu mereka. An indirect way of saying it. Pertemuan kami pada malam itu kemudiannya diakhiri dengan konklusi;

1) Telah jelas banyak ruang kosong dalam perjuangan islam marcapada. Ayuhlah kita isi gerabak perjuangan ini. Be a man of significance!

2) Dalami ilmu agama dan jadi ulama' semampunya. Tak kisahlah kau dokter ke injineur ke. Harus kita kejar title 'teknokrat hizbullah' itu.

3) Nangis dalam hati. Still rasa sebak. Aku pun tak tau macam mana ni boleh jadi poin konklusi yang ketiga -.-

Wallahu'alam.